Tonight is the opening night of our local production of Equus. Initially I intended to blog a bit more about the experience of being in this play, but this semester I’m discovering how challenging it is to balance the demands of preparing for such a show while attending to all of the responsibilities that come with my regular job. The summer productions I’ve been involved with the last couple years do not coincide with my regular academic schedule. This semester I am having to balance rehearsals with a daily schedule that includes teaching, grading, writing, and committee work. Over the last several weeks I’ve found myself exhausted by the end of the day. No regrets, to be sure! Being back on stage has been thrilling. I signed up for this! That said, I know my wife is looking forward to me being home more regularly in the evenings. I am too.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been taken by the idea that performing on stage is a form of “play.” As we have moved closer to opening night, I have been reminding myself of this constantly. Inhabiting a character and telling a story with other actors is fun. This doesn’t mean that every moment and everything one does to prepare is leisurely or enjoyable. I told our director, Scot Miller, last night that every time we start the show I feel like I am about to run a marathon. Martin Dysart, the character I portray, does not leave the stage the entire show. Since February auditions, it has taken me hours of sometimes tedious work simply to internalize 2+ hours worth of dialogue, to get to the point where I can be playful on stage, finding new ways to say lines, react to other characters, and imagine the feelings that Dysart experiences. Standing in the wings just prior to the opening of Act 1, I feel a sense of excitement and anxiety about it all. Reminding myself that what we are doing is a sort of play lessens that anxiety.
So what can I say about Equus? The play itself is a rich, dark, haunting psychological thriller. I don’t want to give away too much, so let me speak simply here and allow those of you coming to the show to experience the story without too much handholding from me. The play revolves around two characters–Martin Dysart, a child psychiatrist who works with troubled children, and Alan Strang, a teenage boy who begins the play having blinded six horses with a metal spike. At the most basic level, the play is structured around a series of sessions between Dysart and Strang, where the story of what led the boy to commit this act of violence unfolds through a series of reenacted memories that reveal both the boy’s home life and a growing, pathological love of horses. More fundamentally, however, the play is about how this therapeutic work raises fundamental questions for Dysart himself about his own vocation and about the emptiness of his own life. One of Dysart’s lines from Act 2 haunts me. Reflecting on his therapeutic work with Strang, Dysart queries, “Can you think of anything worse one can do to anyone than take away their worship?”
As I said in my first post about the play, this show is a heavy lift for a community theatre, but I am so proud of the work the entire cast has put into making this show what it is. One of the great perks of returning to theatre has been the opportunities it has created for me to build unexpected friendships with fellow actors with whom I get to share the stage. Abilene Community Theatre, like many campanies of its sort, attracts some “regulars,” men and women who have a passion for live theatre. It has been such a thrill getting to work alongside these people in this show, my first with ACT. The last six weeks have challenged me and helped me to grow as a performer. Being around “theatre people,” I’m reminded of how theatrical communities in their best moments serve as a space for radical hospitality where we learn how to live and work together for a common purpose. To the men and women who have contributed to this show either on stage or behind the scenes, thank you for making this a welcoming space for us all.
And you, all of you, are welcome as well. Opening night is tonight. Get your tickets!